HTTYD2: How to survive life
by MackDreamer
Summary: Another one of my funny story series. Hiccup, Stoick, Valka, Toothless, Drago, Eret and the others all live together in the same house like a family, and have random, funny adventures. Some of it is a little bit Big Bangish. Rated T for miner cursing. Please R&R!
1. Photo albums and Busting doors

This fanfic is kinda like my 'Silverwing: Tales of Random', only with miner cursing and with slightly different kind of adventures. In it, Drago and Eret and all of Dragos men and the dragons live with Hiccup, Astrid, Valka, Stoick, Toothless, Gobber, Snoutlout, Ruffnut, Tuffnut and Fishlegs, and though everyone has mixed feelings about each other, no one kills anyone and no one dies!..They just get grounded and possibly, miner injuries...I hope you enjoy it and please leave a review!

* * *

"Look at this one." Said Valka, pointing to one of the many pictures.

Hiccup squinted at it. The picture was of two elderly couples. He didn't recognize any of them. "Who are they?" He asked. "They were your grandparents. My parents, and your fathers." She sighed sadly. "You never met them, Stoick's father died in a fire and his mother died shortly after I married him." She said, running her hand on the old photo.

"What about your parents?" Hiccup asked. Valka flipped to the next page. "They got sick and died just before you were born." She said. Valka and Hiccup were looking at pictures in a photo album that she and Stoic made. It was a big, rectangle shaped book, with a leather cover and with the words _'Our Family'_ sewn on the front. The photos started with Valka and Stoick's wedding day and the picture of their parents. Then of Hiccup as a baby, then of Hiccup and Stoick as Hiccup grew up.

Then pictures of Toothless, Stormfly, Cloudjumper and the other dragons, then pictures of Astrid, Snoutlout, Fishlegs, Ruffnut, Tuffnut, and everyone was even one part of the photo album that only had pictures of everyone as babies. There was one of Valka, Stoick, Gobber…Everyone. There was a photo of everyone as babies..

But only one caught Hiccup's eye.

"Mom, who's that?" He asked, tapping a picture of a two or three year old boy, with messy brownish hair and with his hand in his mouth. He was covered from head to toe with chocolate pudding. He wore nothing but a diaper.

Valka giggled when she looked at the picture. "Its Drago." She said. Hiccup didn't believe her, how could that tiny, cute lil boy be Drago? But then he looked closer and recognized Drago's green eyes, oddly shaped nose and palish tan skin. It was Drago, only a much younger version of Drago. "How did you get this?" He asked. "Oh it fell out of Drago's suitcase a couple of months ago. I was going to give it back to him but its so cute. So I put it in the album instead." Explained Valka.

At that, Hiccup and Valka both giggled. Drago better not find out about this, he'll be ticked if he ever does!

Suddenly, the door to the bathroom burst open and down went Fishlegs and Snoutlout, surfing on a surf board and yelling "YEEEEHAAAAAAA!".

On the staircase, Eret was filing the entire thing on video. A huge grin was on his face. As the two boys surfed down the stairs, they hit the front door and broke through it. Leaving a large, gaping hole in the door.

At this, Valka rose from the couch and ran over to the stairs. "What is going on here? What was that all about, Eret?" She demanded. Not happy that her house was being used as a surf-slide. Eret quickly turned off the camera. "Sorry, Mrs. Haddock, Snoutlout and Fishlegs decided to surf down the stairs and made me film them do it." He explained.

"Well, why didn't you tell them not to do it?"

"Because….It sounded fun.." Eret knew that was a bad excuse for this. Hiccup rushed over and climbed up the damp and slippery stairs. He studied the bathroom door-or what was left of it.

The door was completely destroyed. The broken pieces of the door was scattered all over the ground. To make things worse, the carpet, walls and ceiling were dripping with water. The water itself seemed to be coming from the shower, the bathtub and the sink. Even the toilet was almost empty!

Hiccup's gaze turned to the wet stairs and to the door with the hole in it. The stairs had carpet on them, and so did the hallways. Making it look hard to clean. Hiccup knew his father and Gobber and Drago could fix the front door, but the bathroom door is a different story. Not even tape and glue can fix that!

"Dad's going to freak when he see's this." He muttered to himself. He then came down the stairs. "Would you like me to get Dad and Gobber and Drago, Mom?" He asked. "Yes, go get them, Hiccup." She looked at Eret. "Eret and I need to look for Snoutlout and Fishlegs and make sure their ok."

* * *

"So how did this happen again?" Gobber asked as he cut off the sharp edges of the hole, making it a straight line. The three men decided to make the hole into Toothless's own, personal 'dragon door', since he needed one anyway.

"Snoutlout and Fishlegs surfed down the stairs and made a hole in the door." Said Hiccup. He and Eret were helping them fix the door.

Drago ran his finger down the side of the now almost squared hole. "Why in the world did they do that?" He asked, he was genuinely surprised the two boys did that. Hiccup shrugged. "Snoutlout and Fishlegs are a little silly like that." He said. Hiccup still wasn't use to Drago living in the same house as him, and he could tell that Drago wasn't use to it either.

Stoick looked at the stairs and back at the others. He and Drago were working on the door outside, while Goober, Hiccup and Eret worked on the inside part. "Well, Snoutlout and Fishlegs won't be doing anything silly for a few weeks. Talks and I grounded them." He then looked at Eret and pointed at him. "And you are going to help get a new bathroom door!" He said. Eret jumped slightly. "Yes sir..!" He said shakingly.

"What did you do?" Drago looked confused. Eret gulped. "I filmed them as they surfed down the stairs." He said.

"Why?"

"I don't know, they made me do it. I don't know why, Drags, but they insisted on it." Over time, Eret had gotten around to calling Drago 'Drags'. A first, Drago didn't really like it but he seemed to tolerate it after a while.

Drago looked blank, then his face became more annoyed. "Why are young people so stupid?" He suddenly spat.

"What?" Hiccup said that so fast, it took a moment for him to realize he said it.

"You heard me, what is with young people? They do drugs, alcohol, smoke cigarettes, and do things like surf down stairs. What is wrong with those people?"

"Whats wrong with young people? Whats wrong with _you?_"

"What?" This time, it was Drago's turn to be surprised. Gobber looked half confused, half amused.

"You think young people are crazy for surfing down the stairs and being drug attics and alcoholics and smoking….And you tried to take over the world and build a dragon army." Gobber had a matter-of-fact tone in his voice as he said that.

Drago was silent for a moment, before shrugging awkwardly. "Thats different, I'm not a crazy-stupid, young person." He said.

Stoick grinned deviously. "No, you are not…Your a crazy-stupid, old person!" He and Gobber laughed at that. Eret and Hiccup just giggled nervously.

"I'm not that old!" Drago protested. Then raised his eyebrows in realization. "And you two are the same age as me!"

With that, Stoic and Gobber stopped laughing. Drago was right about that. "Yeah..Way to kill the mood." Said Stoick. "Guys does it really matter who's old and who isn't?" Hiccup asked. "Probably not." Said Gobber.

"Lets just fix this door before dinnertime comes around." Said Eret. He did not want to miss meatloaf night!


	2. When Stoick and Valka aren't home

Sorry for the long wait on an update for this story series. DX I kind of forgot about this one. But oh well, here it is and I hope you all like it anyway. ;)

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"Did you really need to put those camera's up?" Asked Valka as she unpacked her suitcase. She and Stoick were at a hotel in Hawaii (testing it out to see if would be a good vacation place someday) and were unpacking their stuff…Well, at least Valka was.

Stoick just kept frowning at his computer screen. "Yes! I want to make sure Hiccup and the others stay out of trouble even when we'r not home."

Valka sat down next to him. "Stoick, Hiccup is twenty. He's responsible and resourceful, he's not going to get into trouble." She tried to reason with him…But Stoick just shook his head.

"Its not Hiccup I'm worried about! Its Drago and Eret and the twins! Drago is a madman, Eret is a whip who can't think for himself and Ruffnut and Tuffnut fight all the time!" Stoick exclaimed.

"Ok, ok! No need to shout." Valka said, putting her hands up.

Suddenly, Stoick's laptop began to buzz. He and Valka turned and saw a fully loaded screen with the word _Live _one the top right hand corner.

"Here's one now." Said Stoick. Although Valka still didn't like it, she came closer to watch too.

The camera video showed Eret…Dancing?

Oh wait, he was doing the Gangman Style dance!..He was actually doing it pretty good..

Stoick and Valka watched for a minute, surprised to see Eret dancing like that. Before Stoick finally changed to a different camera video.

Making the _Gangman Style_ music stop…..Replaced with…_Let it go_?

Both vikings gasped when they realized the camera video showed the outline of Gobber's body in the shower curtains…He was singing _Let it go_.

Stoick quickly exited out of that video. "I probably should have put that one in a different spot…" He said, blushing.

"Well, at least you know Eret and Gobber aren't getting into trouble." Said Valka, giggling. "Now will you help me unpack?"

"Sadly not yet, Val." Said Stoick, clicking on a new camera video. "I still have a to check a few more-" Stoick was interrupted by what he saw in the next video.

Gremlin-Angel the cat was curled into a ball as he groomed his….

"….Ok…Moving on.." Stoick clicked out of that video and found himself into another one. Of Ruffnut and Tuffnut playing patty cake one minute..Then fighting the next.

Typical twins.

The next videos were nothing too interesting: Toothless stealing a hot dog from the kitchen, Snoutlout and Fishlegs playing a video game, Cloudjumper napping on Valka and Stoick's bed, Valka's Bewilderbeast bouncing a ball with Drago's Bewilderbeast, Stormfly playing with toilet paper.

It seemed that everything was pretty much normal…But there was still one more video Stock wanted to check before giving up..

…The one in the basement…

He clicked on it.

The screen showed Drago and Hiccup sitting on the couch in the basement, watching a movie (probably _Freddy Kruger_ or_ Bloody Mary_?) But they weren't watching the movie that much.

They were talking….About burgers?

"Seriously, if a burger doesn't have ham on it then why is it called a hamburger?" Asked Drago.

"I know right?" Hiccup exclaimed. "To make things more complicated, a hamburger is basically a cheeseburger without the cheese."

"Then if you take the meat out of the burger, it becomes a salad inside bread with ketchup and mustard in it." Added Drago.

Hiccup laughed. "Yeah! And-"

A sudden scream from the TV scared both of them. Making them scream and fall backward, knocking the couch down in the process.

Valka and Stoick both gasped. "Oh my gods, are they ok?" Valka asked in alarm.

"Hang on." Said Stoick, watching the screen. "Yeah their getting up."

Hiccup rolled out from the couch and Drago appeared shortly after. "Lets not do that again." Said Hiccup as he rubbed the back of his head.

"Agreed." Said Drago.

Stoick turned off the video. "I think thats enough for now." He said. He turned and saw Valka giggling at him softly.

"What? He asked.

"Oh nothing..It just that..Haha..You got yourself all worried over nothing." She smiled at him. "But I know you were only trying to make sure everything is ok at home." She said.

Stoick blushed again. Feeling hot in the face. "Um..Well..You know me.." He turned off his laptop. "Now, lets get unpacking."


End file.
